A Red Panda Squeaks

The wood wrench.

Imagine you made a wrench out of wood.

The wood wrench does kinda work for attaching bolts, but because it's wood, it's not the most sturdy of wrenches and if you torque it too hard it'll just snap on you, so you can't really tighten down the bolts too hard or your tools break. It works kinda OK as long as it's not something that really requires a tight tolerance, but anything important is just asking for disaster.

Now imagine you work in a mechanics shop, fixing cars, and suddenly all your other mechanics are switching to the wood wrench. Some of them are even so excited about the wood wrench that they take up woodworking on the side so they can try carving their own wood wrenches.

Your manager loves the wood wrench because the wrenches are cheaper, and because no one's tightening things down properly anymore, it takes less time to do the work. They even start insisting you must switch to the wood wrench to save money.

Sales of wood wrenches explode. Whole forests are cleared to get more wood for making wrenches. Wood wrench makers start pushing it into new industries, not just cars and trucks and bikes, but industrial machinery, cranes, boats.

Sure there's some problems with all those cars and boats and cranes falling apart all the time but it's a small price to pay for innovation, and look how much money we could make as soon as all the wrenches are wood, so please fund this new logging expedition into the Amazon Basin.

You stick with your old-fashioned metal wrenches as long as you can. Eventually you stop trusting any mechanical device you didn't assemble yourself. You do all your own automotive work, and when the car finally breaks down, you replace it with an old bike from before the wood wrench came out, because there's fewer bolts and you can check them yourself.

In time the pressure against the wood wrench does climb, but by now, wood wrenches have largely driven the old metal wrench makers out of business, so there's not enough people left who even know how to make anything but wood wrenches, and you can't even safely make machines that meet the tolerances you'd need for metalworking.

And after all, metal's more expensive than wood, and the shareholders won't like the increased cost ... we just have to accept that this is how things work now, and design accordingly. After all, you wouldn't want to be left behind, would you?

Can't stop progress.

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